Following

I wrote the following post and saved it as a draft back in July when my world was in an uproarious change. But really it was just the first of an onslaught of changes.

There comes a point where you just have an overwhelming feeling that you have to focus on what your gut is screaming at you—or a little more sweetly, what your heart is whispering to you. You know, that prompting voice inside that leads? Okay, God, I'm listening. Trying really hard to unquestioningly follow.

Reminds me of this song: "Follow".

There's a fear that comes with letting go, but let me replace one f-word with another—let me rely more heavily on faith instead of crippling fear. God has never let me go, so why do I forget that He has me in every circumstance?

With my brain tumor adventures, I had utmost, complete trust in Him and it was amazingly peaceful and I've often felt that I want to go back to that, which sounds crazy, I know. I don't really want to have more surgeries, but I think what I have been longing for is that feeling of complete trust that's so easy to attain in the most dire of circumstances. What seems so blatantly clear now is that I don't have to wait for extreme situations to trust that Jesus has me. He is my constant.

I had decided in July to tell my manager at the company I worked at for seven years that I would be leaving in December. There were numerous reasons and little nudges for the change, but the biggest reason for the timing was that I knew my review was coming up and I wanted to convey that I wouldn't be here for next year since I was planning to go back to school in the spring of 2014. I joke that I shot myself in the foot by doing that because I gave way too much notice. Looking back though, it was perfect; and I'm glad I gave a ridiculous amount of notice. Understandably, there was no other option for management to ask me to leave sooner—the end of September instead of December—since there was my new partner and my replacement to train (who are both great and exactly where they need to be also!).

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." —Prov. 3:5–6

Meanwhile, unexpectedly during that seven-and-a-half-weeks of "notice," my husband Kurtis and I learned that I am pregnant. Wow! I didn't see that crazy timing coming! So besides getting all registered for school via NAU (Northern Arizona University, my alma mater), we are getting prepared for a baby to join us in our little home and I was able to feel sick those first three months in the comfort of home. Come January, I will be undertaking a post-baccalaureate certificate in professional writing, and if things go well, I will continue to pursue a masters degree in English: Rhetoric and the Teaching of Writing. I'm super excited to earn the credentials to be qualified in the field I want to be in. I'm also thrilled to get to experience what it means to be a mother! Kurt and I will have a magnificent time figuring out what it's like to be parents together! Our baby is due May 17, 2014—again, what seems like perfect timing to coincide with my first semester back to school.

So, see? I'm reminded daily about God's surprising gifts and that I'm so not in control. I'll keep following.

Faithfully,
Dawn

Mr. Claus at home in the desert

 

That's right! Mr. Claus made a special stop in the desert. He's the best Santa ever—kind, jolly, caring, and he has just the right words for children of all ages!  

Ho, Ho, Ho!
Dawn